Say What? Kids Really do Say the Darndest things

2. Oh Ok, thanks for Clarifying:

“ 5-year-old: ‘Can I have a Twik?’

Me: ‘You mean Twix?’

5-Year-Old ‘No. I only want one’.”

-Ashley Greninger

3. You Tell Him!

“Soccer Coach: ‘When you are trying to score a goal, kick the ball with the laces of your shoes.’

My 4-Year-Old daughter: ‘Umm, we are in Preschool. Dere’s only belcro (velcro) walking around here’.”

-Katy Salyer Horning

4. That’s What I Meant:

“My son walks top to me with his hands dangling under his chin, fingers spread out and wiggling around.

Son: ‘Mom, like my beard of testicles?!’

Me: ‘…what? beard of…what?’

Son: ‘My beard of testicles…I’m an octopus!’

Me: ‘TENTACLES, kiddo. they’re called tentacles.’

Son: ‘yeah, that’s what i meant’ .”

-Denise Bailey-Joseph

(Via Huffington Post)

5. Oh.

“Me: ‘Why is the dog’s head all wet?’

My 3-Year-Old (standing outside on the Patio): ‘Oh, because I peed on him’.”

-Aubri Greig Armitage

6. Silence You Peasant:

“ i told my kids that we are no longer saying ‘shut up’ because it sounds mean and can hurt people’d feelings. So my kids are getting creative with their use of words. My 9-Year-Old daughter was talking and talking, and my 6-Year-Old son couldn’t take it anymore and said ‘SILENCE YOU PEASANT!”

-Candy N Erik Cisneros

7. That’s A Good Question:

“Can Brothers and Sisters get Divorced?”

-Saddie (age 5)

(Via Huffington Post)

8. Let Us Hope:

“I love you Mama. I hope that you never go to jail.”

-Millie (age 3)

9. An Optimist:

“Mom i love that you polished your nails. Now when I’m trouble, its fancy when you point at me!

-Emma (age 10)

10. Its Everywhere:

“4-Year-Old: ‘Oh no, there’s cop porn’

Me: Umm…

4-Year-Old: (speaks More slowly) ‘Cop. Porn…

Me: Umm…

4-Year-Old: ‘Just look, there’s cop porn everywhere!’

-Molly (age 4)

11. Life Goals:

Graham: “Everyone in my class, wants to be a doctor”

Mommy: “ What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Graham: “A Cheetah. Or a pig.”

12. Me Too, Me Too:

“I really love being a human, but some days i really wish i could be a fairy.”

-Greta (age 4)

13. Yes, Yes It is:

Luke: “Mama, when was I born?”

Danielle: “February 17, 2009”

Luke: Hey!!! That’s My Birthday!!!”

14. Mine Too!

Student A: “ i can spell my mom’s name!

Me: Oh Yeah? How do you spell it?

Student A: “M-O-M

Student B: That’s how you spell MY mom’s name too!

-Teachme1989

15. He Will Never Say Those Words Again:

“Last Year, my classroom carpet that had the alphabet border around the edges. one of my Students, Demetrius, liked to sit on the letter D because it was the first letter of his name. One day, Zaria sits on the letter “D”. Demetrius gets in her face and yells, ‘Zaria! Get off my D!’ I lost it”

-@ahhzombies

16. Clever!

“A student at my school got suspended for calling the IT teacher a PDFile”

-nick90

17. I wonder Where they Heard that one:

“I sometimes let my first graders eat with me in the classroom for “lunch club”. One day one i was reading with a group of my six year olds, reading jokes off the milk cartons. We ran out of jokes, so the children started telling their own terrible kid-jokes (“Why did the gorilla pick his nose? because he was crazy”, etc.) One of my students says, “what did the fan say to the hair dryer? WHY DON’T WE BLOW EACH OTHER?” I could barely breathe from laughing so hard, and none my students understood why. They just thought the it must have been a really f=great hair dryer joke.”

-AnnabellBeaverhausen

18. Ummm “X”

Teacher: “write x + 10”

Kid: “ How do you spell ‘X’ ?”

-mandielew

19. Excuse me?

“Im being Haive!”

-2 year old son when his mother told him to behave

20. No way?!

“I glad I’m finally eight. This is the oldest I’ve ever been in my entire life!”

-8 year old Son

21. She’s my spirt animal:

“Why don’t you get some expensive money?”

-3 year old daughter, when told by her mother that she could get a small toy but that the ones asked for were too expensive

22. Lol, yes, yes she did:

“My young Grandson called the other day to wish me a Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him 62. He was quiet for a moment, and then asked, ‘Did you start at 1?’

23. Allison is my favorite

In a preschool class I used to teach, we had two little girls who played every day that they were characters from classic disney cartoons. One day I heard one calling the other “Allison” i didn’t kn ow a single Disney character named Allison, so i asked the little girl who she was today, she replied “Allison Wonderland”.

24. Duh!

A little girl diligently pounding away on her grandfather’s word processor. She told him she was writing a story. ‘What’s it about?’ he asked. ‘I don’t know,’ she replied ‘I can’t read’

25. At Least He Tried:

Kid: “Look Dad, Dog!”

Dad: “no, not a dog. Remember, we talked about what this is?”

Kid: (thinks) “Dog!”

Dad: “Noooo. It starts with a ‘w’.”

Kid: “W…w…w…wdog!”

-Converstaion overheard at a zoo in Tasmania, where a young kid was looking at a wombat.

26. Yikes!

“ I had a party a few weeks ago, and a really good friend of the family had brought some cousins, about 7 and 5 years old. The Older one looked up at a guest and said:

Older Kid: “I bet you’re 40”

Younger Kid: No, He’s 80!”

Older Kid: “85!”

Younger Kid: “No, he’s 100!”

Older Kid: “He’s not 100, that’s when you die.”

27. Thats Always a Good Thing:

“When I called home one day, my six year old son answered the phone.

‘Hello’ he said, panting a little.

I said: ‘Hi, Nick. Wow you sound out of breath.’

He replied: ‘No, I have more’